Ravenchase Statistics
At last, the race is over. We came in fourth place, narrowly missing third place to Fellowship of the Van by under an hour. A $2 plastic ship spray-painted gold could have been ours! Congrats to Bloodshot and the Kilts who came in first and second place respectively.
For our rookie event, I think we did pretty well. If Eno had been able to make it, I have no doubt we could have captured third (the other option would have been to let the Fellowship of the Van drown in the river and beat them that way, but we’re just not that kind of team).
We’re also pretty sure we would have won the “People’s Choice” award for “Coolest Team” if a vote had been taken. We’ve got a lot of ESP skills, and by reading our opponent’s minds, we’re know that they liked us the best. We think it’s our modesty that gives us a real edge for that sort of thing.
Here are the race results:
1. Bloodshot 30:46 (hours:min)
2. Stillwater 32:27
3. The Fellowship of the Van 35:50
4. Enemies of the Common Good 36:45
5. A2 37:55
6. Team Lazlo 38:23
7. Lost in Place 39:11
8. The Millers DNF
And a few other statistics:
Race length: 8 days
States visited: 7 (counting D.C.)
Miles traveled: 2,108 (highway, not counting city miles)
Ham & Salami sandwiches: 18
Tires blown: 2
Fuel Cost: don’t ask
iPhone-to-Treo ratio: 4:1
Favorite City: Savannah, Georgia
Least Favorite City: Atlanta, Georgia
Hours Slept: not nearly enough
Beer Consumed: not nearly enough
Teams we rescued from the river: 1
Teams that rescued us from the RV: 2
Laptop falls from table to the floor: 5
Times a laptop fell on Scott’s head: 1
Times no one bothered to get the power supply from the top bunk, even though the laptop it was connected to had just hit Scott in the head while he was driving: 1
Times Scott got hit with a falling power supply: 1
Times we road with the fire extinguisher in someone’s lap,”just in case”: 2
Imagined runaway RV scenarios attended to by Mike: 1
Toilet pumpouts: 1
Number of jokes Collier made regarding said pumpouts: countless
Number of times the RV’s generator died: 5
Number of times it later came back to life: 4
In the end, we had a great time and it was quite an experience, RV issues and all. We really enjoyed hanging out with all the players (even Team Lazlo, though we hate to admit that). If anyone is looking for our team contact info, just email me at jeff-at-jeffready-dot-com and I’ll send it to you.
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Please ignore this blog.
It’s been accurately brought to our attention that our blog has become incomprehensible to the world outside of the Ravenchase Great America Race. With a day of non-racing under our belts, we recognize that the level of inside jokes and references made in the blog have reached levels beyond which anyone could possibly understand.
Spending 8 days in an RV, traveling 1500 miles, and getting very little sleep, while trying to solve mind bending puzzles is bound to do this to anyone. Needless to say, we all got a little slaphappy by the end of the race. Keep in mind that all the people participating in this race, are, by definition, complete geeks. This leads to a lot of inside jokes, which often have roots in things that only super-geeks like us would have understood to begin with.
With that in mind, we’ve compiled a list of all the things you should ignore while reading the blog. These include, but probably aren’t limited to these references:
- Sabotage by other teams
- The Goddesh of Richmond
- Where’s the Fellowship?
- Leeroy Jenkins
- All your base are belong to us.
- Wiberty or Death
- Voltron
- Somebody set us up the bomb.
- Oh Belvedere! Come here, boy!
- For Great Justice
- Ninjas
- Russian Dancers
- Alien Fashion Designers
- Cat Patrols
To ignore these things, you might need to jump ahead a few posts. The posts from earlier in the week contain fewer inside references, and more real blogging.
Hopefully this helps.
PS – All Your Base really does belong to us.
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We caught Team Lazlo engaging in some sort of strange, alien ritual. Even our mad deciphering skills can not make heads or tails of this. There is something strange going on in the background of this picture.
Something very, very strange.
Where’s the Fellowship, you ask? Probably as far away from this as possible.
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We take a break from our regularly scheduled blogging to inform you of a disturbing development: It appears that Team Lazlo does not consist of three separate humans, but are actually one unified creature. That’s right, team members Marcus, Lucas, and Karin are all one in the same.
They are kind of like Voltron. Not the cool lion Voltron, but the stupid car-based Voltron that took so many pieces that you had to mow lawns for weeks to save up enough money to buy it, and then when you finally got it together you thought “Where’s the Fellowship? If they could see how stupid this thing looks they would be ticked off too…”
But I digress.
Take a look at the evidence yourself:
- In the movie Domestic Import, Markus Lucas played the part of a Russian Dancer. Certainly this was a complex role, and was used to practice deception techniques so as not to tip us off to their borg-like nature.
- Marcus Lucas is also apparently some kind of alien fashion designer, who advocates using religious garb to get one’s game on. Only an alien would think such things. Just look at the drawings in there. Furthermore, if you would take just one look at these “people” you would never mistake them for fashion experts. Long pants at Panama City Beach? Well played, Lazlo.
- Karin alleges to work at Regis University, a catholic university in Denver where she went to school. However, she is always the designated driver for the team. A catholic who doesn’t drink? Do you take us for fools, Team Lazlo?
Their own blog exposes their plans to wait until the end before crushing the other teams. It seems as though they mean “crush” in the literal sense, as they plan to take over the earth through alien conquest. This explains why we have not seen any meaningful attempt to solve puzzles on their part.
Consider yourself warned.
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What happened to Panama City you say? What happened to Panama City is what we say as well. We rolled into town with 20 minutes to spare before today’s race started. Earlier, we were told that Panama City would be a bonus day, with some puzzle games to win time back, and otherwise hang on the beach.
Dreams of renting jet skis, enjoying the water, and getting some reprieve from the blistering sun filled our minds.
Hopes dashed.
During our fiasco trip from Savannah, we were told that today would be a regular race day, and not a rest/bonus day.
Ok…
But then, when the race actually started, the instructions told us to get in the car, and drive to New Orleans. There were 9 different driving clues, and after we get to New Orleans, there is a second stage for the day.
So we made it to Panama City, were there for all of 30 minutes, and back on the road again. Curse you, Goddesh of Richmond. I want my jet ski funtime!
And that’s where we are now, with New Orleans approaching ever so slowly, and a pile of clues to work through.
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Finally on the Road we headed for Panama City. After making the highway, the GPS reported our estimated arrival time as 4:43am.
Hmmm. Perhaps another plan was in order.
We opted to press on until about 1am, find a hotel, then get some sleep before waking up early to make it to Panama City before the race started. We made it to Lake City, Florida, a little west of Jacksonville. As we approached, I started searching for a hotel that had enough beds for the team.
This is when we uncovered yet another Bloodshot communist plot (I’m not 100% sure on the communist part, but I’m willing to jump to that conclusion). You see, there aren’t that many hotels right off of I-10 as you pass through Lake City, so a simple google search should give me just a few results in the area we wanted.
A Holiday Inn came up right next to I-10, I called, and they had two rooms. $60 each. Sounds great. I sent a text message to the team in the RV with the address. It was then that I realized “wait a second, this hotel says it’s in Kissimmee… that can’t be right…”
I brought google maps up to reconfirm the position, and see what the heck I did wrong. Just then, my phone buzzed with a simple text message from my teammates.
“WTF?”
Look, I know it’s late, but the last thing we need to worry about right now is the location of the Fellowship! Let’s stay focused, people!
Back at Google maps, I confirmed that the map was all screwed up. Coincidence? I think not.
Even at 1am I could piece this one together. Only Bloodshot has team members that work at Google, and they were clearly aware of our RV problems, being one of the earlier saboteurs. Our atlas correctly shows Kissimee as being near Orlando. This map had Kissimee next to I-10. I realized that what I was looking at was not operator error, nor an anomaly, but an obvious Bloodshot plot.
I also heard that they killed Kenny in an episode of South Park. Those bastards.
The evidence speaks for itself.
We did finally got a hotel, and snagged 4-5 hours of sleep before getting up at six to press on to Panama City.
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While slightly out of order, we wanted to make sure we brought this to the attention of the City of Savannah: they have a misspelled street sign in the city.
In fact, we have reason to believe that all the signs along this street are misspelled–anyone who has consulted with the Goddesh of Richmond is well aware that the proper spelling of this is “Wiberty,” taken from that great speech of Revolutionary War Patriot, Elmer Fudd, when he said:
“Give me wiberty, or give me death!”
Come on, Savannah, this is an embarrassment to your city, and to our country’s history.
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Sabotage!
While eating lunch and waiting for Scott to arrive with the RV, we received an ill-fated phone call. Hmmm… So, it appears as though someone went back to the RV, replaced our “new” tires with these 15 year old ones, in a pathetic attempt to create yet another blow out along the way and interrupt our chances of making it to Panama City on time.
But who knew where the RV was? We did, and our rescuers did: Bloodshot and Fellowship of the Van.
Where’s the Fellowship (WTF)? We suspect they were sleeping soundly, happy to regain some of the karma owed to us from the water rescue.
But Bloodshoot… oh, Bloodshot! You knew where that RV was parked, didn’t you? And you have a vehicle large enough to carry 6 RV tires, don’t you?
Ah yes, Bloodshot, we see right through your shenanigans (or is it seanacies? or seanacles?).
After getting all tires replaced and repairing the fuel lines, Scott brought the RV back to Savannah to be on our way.
But alas, it was not to be.
The RV began overheating due to a cracked head gasket between the repair shop and Savannah. It seems as though someone placed a timer-based mini-bomb in the RV, so as to disrupt us again just as we were ready to depart.
A grand conspiracy is starting to unfold. Clearly, the design and placement of such a device is beyond the shallow skills of Bloodshot, so they must have been working with someone else. Lazlo though they had us with the IED, so clearly it was not them.
Hmmm… A double-cross by the Fellowship? More secret weapons from the hidden lab of the The Millers? Could it be A2 or Lost in Place? Their teams are too small to execute such a complex maneuver.
There can be only one, so to speak.
Yes, Kilts, we are on to you. And the last laugh shall be ours.
You see, we are aware of the history of Scotland. We’ve seen Braveheart at least twice (well, the battle scenes anyway), and in case you missed it, here is a brief summary of this little story.
Scotland, aka “The Kentucky of the United Kingdom” had a few wars with the English in their quest of independence. In the end, the English won, as two key elements played in their favor: (1) they had developed the longbow, allowing them to strike at their enemies from far greater distances, and (2) the Scottish had yet to develop the concept of pants.
We consulted with a local British Pub to get anti-Scottish strategy, and they recommended buying a few t-shirt featuring the British flag, as that is sure to send the Kilts running for the hills. Fear not, we will have our revenge.
Meanwhile, a spirited discussion ensued as to WTF. After a brief search, the Fellowship could not be found and we turned our attention back to the RV. It was decided that 3 of us would head to the airport, rent the biggest vehicle they had, and operate as a chase vehicle so we could rescue ourselves from any future attempts to destroy the RV.
We had a little trouble finding a car, but a quick call to our friends at CTU got us this sweet black SUV, not unlike what you might find Jack Bauer driving around in.
“Jack sends his regards,” the driver said as he hopped out and tossed us the keys. “And don’t forget that torture is always an option.”
Torture, Jack Bauer, William Wallace… Hmmm… I love it when a plan comes together.
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In the morning, Scott headed off to try and repair the RV while the rest of us met up in Savannah to start today’s segment.
Today, they mixed things up a bit. Without looking at the clues, you had to choose between a set of clues similar to what he had been doing, and a set of clues that were “different”.
All the other teams, took the conservative choice and chose the clues similar to previous days. However, Enemies of the Common Good do not fear risk or change—we embrace it. We took the “different” clues and began our quest.
Less than an hour and a half later, we had completed the puzzles, and called in with the answer.
Despite the best efforts of the other teams, we remain undeterred, and came out on top for the day.
Scott was set to pick us up in a few hours, so we had the opportunity to spend the extra time actually looking around the city.
Savannah is a very cool place. The city has 22 (or 24, we’re not sure) different “squares” or little parks that you come upon every couple blocks. They are all different, with varying foliage and monuments in each.
To confuse tourists for the amusement of the locals, many of the squares, but not all, are named for monuments that are not actually in that square. For example, the Pulaski Square is named for revolutionary war hero Casmir Pulaski. Is his statue here? No. You can find the Pulaski monument in Monterey Square, a square named in honor of the capture of Monterey during the Mexican-American war.
Of course.
Despite the lack of Square Name/Monument location connection, the squares really turn Savannah into a beautiful place, with lots of stuff to check out.
To thank someone for all this, we turn to James Oglethorpe, an English General and founder of Savannah in 1732. He’s also the man who came up with the city-square layout of parks. Rather than leave design to the random chance induced by using things like surveying equipment and measuring tapes, Big James (as we like to call him) opted to actually pace things off himself. You read that right: pace. As in stepping it off with your feet. Now that’s a hands-on (or feet-on?) way of doing things.
But what is with this fascination with pacing? Ah my friends, EOTCG has unraveled this mystery for you. You see, it appears that General Oglethorpe secretly wanted to be a pirate, and as everyone knows, pirates love to pace things off.
Come on now you say, what evidence do you have that this member of the British aristocracy secretly wanted to be a pirate? Take a look at this photo and be enlightened:
That, my friends, is Big James, and he is quite clearly dressed as a pirate. Cool hat, sword, pirate boots, a swashbuckler belt, and a sly grin that says, “Shiver me timbers!”
As we stood in awe of General Oglethorpe, we came to a realization: It was 95 degrees, yet not a drop of sweat had actually evaporated due to the 100% humidity. No one in their right mind would wear such a getup under those weather conditions for fear of drowning in their own perspiration.
That is, of course, unless that person WANTED TO BE A PIRATE!
Ah ha!
And who doesn’t want to be a pirate, doing all the things pirates love to do: living a life of adventure on the high seas, plundering cities and ships, striking fear into the hearts of men, and pacing off city parks using their own two feet.
So General, we salute you. We admire you not just because of the city you designed, but because you left a life of spoiled-rich-kid in London to come to America and pretend to be a pirate. Arrrrrrrr, Matey!
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The Many Talents of EOTCG
When you refuse to let the man hold you down, it’s amazing what you can accomplish. Take, for example, the righteous musical skills of Enemies of the Common Good.
Since we actually made it Savannah before every place stopped serving food (we had at least 20 minutes to spare), we were able to make it to the pub before everyone else left. Even the Kilts were still there. But be warned, Kilts, we have taken note of this pattern of “Race. Drive. Eat. Sleep…. Race. Drive. Eat. Sleep….” Oh yes, we’ve noticed.
It will be your undoing.
It turned out to be open mic night at the bar. Since some of our team members have skills that fall somewhere between, “drunken karaoke night at the American Legion” and, “megastar rock band,” they decided to partake in a couple of songs.
Phil even headed up for a solo after the main group finished. Notice my ability to snag a natural lens flare using just a camera phone. We gots the skillz.
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- Alert, fellow Ravenchasers: Frauds walks among us!
- Day 7, Stage 1: Panama City Bea…. DOH!
- Day 6: The Road to Panama City, kinda sorta
- Misspelled Street Signs in Savannah
- Sabotage!
- Day 6: Savannah, Treasure Hunting, and Pirates!
- The Many Talents of EOTCG
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